I’m not in favour of live-in relationships.
If that’s come as a surprise, let me hasten to qualify my statement. I’m not in favour of openly lived live-in relationships, for Indian women, in India-right now.
Here are a few thoughts on this-
-A couple in a live-in relationship in India are looked down upon- more so the woman, than the man. If , by some unlucky turn of fate, the relationship ends, the woman will in India, find herself , on the lowest rung on the social ladder, while the man’s standing takes only the faintest of hits.The social disadvantage could translate into trouble finding a new place to live or trouble with parents – (which in theory can be offset by having a good friends circle , I suppose)
-A woman’s prospects of future suitors gets severely hampered as her character will be deemed to be flawed, where as the man’s ‘suitability’ for future relationships is much less affected.
– Getting unexpectedly pregnant is always a bigger headache for the woman than for the man, irrespective of the outcome- and I don’t have to elaborate on the why’s. Also, getting pregnant while unmarried is a big deal in India, with limited options for dealing with unwanted pregnancies.
I guess, then, I’m not in favour of live in relationships in INDIA. I would have no problem being in a live-in relationship in a country where I wouldn’t be socially punished for it, and where I would have easy access to support if I did become pregnant- irrespective of whether I would choose to be a single mom / terminate the pregnancy/give the baby up for adoption.
Also, I’m against the granting of rights to live-in couples- it turns the relationship into a grey, almost matrimonial area, that defeats the very purpose of a no-strings-attached relationship. I do feel matrimony is an all -or- none kind of relationship, and the introduction of various ‘legal’ stages of togetherness is silly- if people want to be bound up by law, can’t they just get married?
P.S I write this as a girl who’s been in a semi-live-in type of relationship; I had my own place but would frequently spend days at my BF’s place without setting foot in my room, while I do appreciate the advantages of such an arrangement, a large part of why it did not disadvantage me was the fact that my parents were unaware of it.
However, it was not fun being the neighbourhood’s ‘loose’woman and I would probably not do it again in India, having now lived abroad.